


F is For Friends and Frozen Peas

by CosmoKid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Excessive use of italics, Fluff, Gen, Trans John Murphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: For prompt: “life really sucks. feel better.”





	F is For Friends and Frozen Peas

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: attempting to avoid this happening would be a very good idea because jesus fucking christ this hurts

“ _Motherfucker!_ ”

Murphy drops his notebook, spring up off of his bed to rush to his roommate’s aid in the kitchen. “Raven, what’s wrong?”

She lets out a grunt of pain and glares down at her chest. “I just burnt my tit!”

“You _what?_ ”

“I just _burnt_ my _tit_!”

He blinks. “You burnt your tit?”

“Yes!” she exclaims. He takes a breath and tries to take in the scene. Curly fries are strewn across the counters and the floor, and there’s a baking tray laying at Raven’s feet. “And it fucking hurts.”

“Wow, life sucks. Life really sucks. Feel better,” he says in lieu of outright laughing at her misfortune. It’s probably no better. She stares at him, unimpressed. He sighs. “How did you manage that?”

She continues to stare at him, somehow more unimpressed. “I accidentally knocked the tray into my boob while I was taking it out of the oven, okay? Now, help!”

“Help?” he repeats. “What am I meant to do to help?”

“You could hold an icepack-” She stops herself. “You could hold a bag of frozen peas against my boob.”

“Raven,” he starts, deliberately speaking slowly to convey his absolute disbelief. “I really, really, _really_ don’t want to hold frozen peas against your boob. That would be weird and just, _yikes._ ”

“Give me one good reason why.”

“You have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend.”

“My girlfriend doesn’t hold me to exclusivity during burnt tit emergencies!”

“You are the single most ridiculous person I have ever met in my life,” he says, dragging his hand down his face and sighing. “I’m not holding frozen peas against your tit.”

She huffs, stomping her foot. “It fucking hurts, Murphy! I thought F was supposed to be for friends who do stuff together-”

“Like what? Holding frozen peas against boobs?” he interrupts, wondering if this is what it feels like to have a stroke.

“Yes!”

“Well, we’re going to need a time machine so we can go back in time before my top surgery if you want to do that so I guess you’re just going to have to do it yourself,” he says and shrugs.

Raven pouts. “You’re a bad friend, Murphy.”

“Why can’t you just do it yourself?”

“Because you’re stronger than me so you can apply more pressures,” she explains in a very impatient voice. “It hurts so much, Murphy _please_!”

He sighs. “Fine, but you owe me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://cosmo-k-i-d.tumblr.com/%22)  
> 


End file.
